According to the Oxford dictionary, networking is “the action or process of interacting with others to exchange information and develop professional or social contacts”. It doesn’t always have to be business-oriented — hence, the words “social contacts” in this definition.

According to LinkedIn, it can be as simple as “making new friends”. It can be a way of getting better acquainted with others outside of seeking success or professional gain. Along the way, it can also give you insights into yourself and your future life and career goals. Here are some tips on how to network successfully.

The Life Skills That Matter website cites that meeting new people is a necessity if you want to create a lifestyle that revolves around more meaningful work on your own terms. Interacting with like-minded people can not only help you make changes in your life  but can also dramatically improve your chances of success. It cites three primary “mindsets” — the established set of attitudes someone holds — in terms of building connections.

1. The Networking Mindset

In terms of how to network, the goal here is essentially to view other people as “transactions”. This means you want something from them — a sale, a job, money or a favour. So, often it means the connection is self-interested and not genuine. Many find networking uncomfortable as they feel like they:

• Are always asking for something.
• Don’t know what they want, so don’t know who they really want to connect with.
• Are afraid of rejection.
• Believe networking is all about meeting as many people as possible, so feel guilty about meeting an imaginary quota.

2. The Friend Mindset

The goal of making friends is essentially about feeling a “connection” with someone and sharing mutual interests. And the best part is that you can be yourself! It’s also about “feeling” a connection rather than “making” one. And they are very different. When you meet someone, you aren’t necessarily looking for an agenda. The foundation of friendship is trust, not a transaction. When you meet someone you could consider a friend, you aren’t guiding the conversation towards a sale or hunting down a new contact. You are simply enjoying the connection.

3. The Community Mindset

The goal of building a community is to “ feel both connected and collaborative with a group of like-minded people. You support each other to help each other succeed”. This is about building a professional community based on mutually beneficial relationships so you can help each other grow over the long term.

10 Ways to Network (But Not in the Most Obvious Sense)

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Tap into your existing network

Before searching outside your current circle of contacts, start closer to home. Let everyone know you are interested in expanding your network. Several people in your network likely know someone who knows someone who knows someone that would be a good introduction for you. Ever heard of six degrees of separation?

Don’t cling to old contacts

On the flip side, another essential part of how to network is letting go of old contacts, particularly if they aren’t giving you the type of friendship you are looking for. Finding new contacts is an investment and a slow and steady process, but it will have enormous benefits.

Be yourself

As Albert Einstein once said, “In a world where you can be anything, be yourself”. People tend to give off a trustworthy and positive energy when talking about things they are interested in or passionate about. And authenticity is vital in these situations.

Be interested and not just interesting

This theory revolves around making a concerted effort to get to know the other person. You can achieve this by being fully present in the conversation and listening as much as you speak. Knowing how to network in this sense is understanding that it’s a two-way street and successful networking occurs when both parties benefit. It’s also about asking questions. Asking more questions can build emotional intelligence and lead to better soft skills, which are key to building interpersonal relationships, communicating better and connecting with others.

Focus on feeling connected

The quality of your relationships trumps quantity in terms of “making connections”. Those at the core of your relationships will serve as your advocates and vastly amplify your message by not just talking about you but your community and beyond.

Find a common interest

According to the psychologist, best-selling author and the “Godfather of influence” Robert Cialdini, the best way of making personal connections is to figure out what you have in common with them — and it doesn’t have to be work-related! It could be as simple as being dog lovers, sharing the same sports team or enjoying the same lifestyle or health pursuits. Connections are created through shared experiences, so can also build trust over the long term.

Give to receive

Another tip for how to network and potentially make new friends is to show your individuality and stand out from the crowd. Being memorable can also involve offering your help and support (kindness is king!) and then demonstrating your interest in doing so, not just talking about it.

Actively engage

For those of us who are a little more introverted, place yourself in the “path of conversation”. This can be daunting, but it is about putting yourself in positions where you will actively have to talk to people. It can include seeking out groups or associations you are interested in, volunteering for organisations aligned with your goals, and/or engaging with social media platforms with like-minded people. LinkedIn is a particularly powerful tool (being one of the world’s largest professional networks). A good tip is to search for possible contacts and then send them a personalised message with an introduction and a reason for reaching out.

Take it slow

Forming connections takes time and they aren’t typically created overnight. In fact, experts say it takes from 40 to 60 hours spent together in the first few weeks after meeting people to form a casual friendship. The transition from a casual friend to a solid friend takes even more — between 80 and 100 hours!

Think long-term

Many of us have a friend or colleague who we haven’t seen for months. But when we do connect, it’s as if we’d made contact yesterday. Sound familiar? Strong relationships can last forever, and networking can be the start of such relationships. Creating connections based on shared goals and interests can also boost positivity and productivity. Plus, you’ll enhance your personal and professional life, as everyone wants to surround themselves with people they like. Why not make that you?