It hurts when you feel like a person or group of people are excluding you at work. You might wonder how to deal with this situation, especially if you’ve never encountered it. The good news is there are ways to handle exclusion in the workplace, and it doesn’t have to amount to conflict or bad feelings.

What is exclusion?  

So, how do you know if you’re being intentionally excluded in the workplace? Workplace exclusion comes in two forms, social and professional. The first means you don’t feel included in social situations, such as lunchtime catch-ups or outside-of-work functions. The latter means you feel like your suggestions or expertise in the workplace are ignored, so you don’t feel like you’re contributing fully.

There are many different ways you might be excluded – socially, professionally or both – but some examples of these behaviours include co-workers:

• Ignoring your ideas or suggestions in meetings
• Avoiding or ignoring you in the workplace
• Not receiving important meeting requests
• Leaving you out of crucial workplace emails
• Ignoring your communications (phone calls, emails, messenger)
• Leaving you out of meetings or social events
• Ignoring your requests for promotion
• Refusing to provide feedback on performance reviews
• Harassing or bullying you as a group (mobbing)
• Speaking down to you and patronising (condescending)

If this sounds familiar or you witness this behaviour in your workplace, there’s a good chance you’re experiencing intentional exclusion. However, it’s wise to keep an open mind because there are times when you could be misinterpreting.

Tips for handling exclusion in the workplace

When you’re dealing with exclusion in the workplace, real or perceived, these tips will help you to navigate the situation.

1. Misinterpreting the situation

Is it a miscommunication, or are you misinterpreting the situation? Sometimes when feeling vulnerable, especially if you’re new to a workplace, it’s easy to misinterpret a situation or encounter miscommunications. It takes a while to feel at ease in a new job, so give yourself – and others – some time to adjust to your arrival.

If you’re not new and experiencing workplace exclusion, then your feelings could be valid. But remember that there may be personality differences, technical issues or your body language working against you. For example, you might feel that a co-worker is ignoring you, but have you considered they’re shy? Or, what if a firewall on your computer is not letting meeting requests and reminders through? If you’re working from home some days, this could be at play! It could also be your body language getting in the way, so make sure you look and act approachable – a smile goes a long way! 

2. Are others feeling the same way?

Are there others in your workplace who are also feeling excluded? Try to play detective and observe how others are being treated. If you notice any behaviour towards others that might be perceived as exclusion, ask them about it privately. They may provide insight into how they handle the situation and have tips for how you can navigate feelings of exclusion.

If you can talk to former employees, that’s helpful too. These people will probably be more candid with you!

Any information you can take from others’ experiences in that workplace will help your case if you need to approach human resources or take legal action.

3. Take detailed notes

If you decide to approach human resources or even pursue legal action about exclusion in the workplace, it’s crucial to take note of what you’re experiencing. It’s also ideal if you can document the day and time the incidents occurred. As well as describing what happened and how you felt, you should also include how it has impacted your productivity at work.

If possible, ask for witness accounts of what happened, so you have another’s perspective. You could also take photos or videos if it’s appropriate.

4. Approach co-workers directly

Have you had any misunderstandings with co-workers that may be contributing to the situation? If so, you could talk directly to these people to see if they have any negative feelings towards you. You should also describe your feelings to this person, whether a co-worker or a manager, so they understand how their behaviour impacts you.

If you discover they do, in fact, have a gripe over something you’ve done (or haven’t done), you can talk about it and hopefully resolve the situation. If they deny a problem despite you feeling excluded, they could be gaslighting you, which means it’s time to ask for help!

5. Ask for help

You won’t always be able to work things out on your own. Workplaces are complex organisms, and people are unpredictable, which is why we have human resources departments. If you can, make a confidential appointment with your human resources department and make sure you have your notes with you.

Smaller workplaces don’t always have a human resources department. If this is your situation, request a meeting with a manager or someone in a position of authority.

If you’ve tried all of the above and you’re not feeling any better, legal avenues are open to you but make sure it’s a last resort. Most of the time, you’ll be able to problem-solve the situation on your own or with the help of others. 

Assertiveness training can help

Do you need more confidence to handle exclusion in the workplace or other workplace conflicts? Assertiveness training can help!

Discover how to be more assertive in the workplace, or enrol in your Building Self-Esteem & Assertiveness Skills course. It’s ideal professional development for anyone navigating the workplace and the complicated people within it!