Emotional decision-making is inevitable at work, especially in high-stress environments.  If you’ve ever sent an angry email or made a hurtful comment in the heat of the moment, only to feel guilty later, you’ve experienced emotion-driven decision-making. But what if you could manage emotions at work so that you make thoughtful, constructive decisions?

If you’re someone who consistently makes decisions based on frustration, stress, fear or anger, you’re compromising your judgment, relationships, communication- and most importantly, your reputation.

In this blog, we highlight the seven signs that you’re an emotion-based decision maker and provide practical tips on how to take back control.

 

1. You React Before Thinking

Do you often respond impulsively when upset, whether it’s snapping at colleagues or making insensitive comments to your family? It’s likely you’ll regret these heat-of-the-moment reactions later, but by that time, the damage to your relationship or reputation is done. So, what’s happening here?

It’s called emotional hijacking, and while it sounds scary, when you understand it, you can tame it. Emotional hijacking is a term coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. Emotional hijacking is an intense, disproportionate emotional reaction to the situation at hand. It involves the amygdala, a part of the brain that takes over thinking before your brain can intervene. You may be forced into fight, flight or freeze, which disables your ability to make a rational or reasoned response.

Practical Tip

When you feel symptoms of emotional hijacking, such as a racing heart, sweaty skin, goosebumps or tense muscles, during interpersonal stress or a perceived threat, you can try to:

• Focus on your breathing using techniques like box breathing until you feel calmer.
• Walk away from the situation and, if possible, take a stroll to get some fresh air, which can help you feel more grounded before your return.
• Wait a few minutes before replying to messages or emails that trigger strong emotions to give yourself time to bring your rational brain back online.

 

2. You Avoid Difficult Conversations

We can all shirk difficult conversations at times, but if this is becoming the modus operandi for you, it’s time to face it. Whether it’s a meeting to discuss a difficult task or receiving feedback on a project, don’t let fear, anxiety or discomfort perpetuate avoidance behaviour. When you let emotional discomfort influence your decisions, you’ll likely find that small problems become bigger issues.

Practical Tip

When you avoid difficult situations, it’s usually because you’re making assumptions and anticipating a negative outcome. The next time you’re faced with a difficult conversation, try to focus on facts and make notes about what you want to communicate so that your emotional brain can stay in check.

 

3. Your Mood Dictates Your Decisions

If your moods control your decisions, you may find that you’re unintentionally reacting differently to the same situations, depending on how stressed, frustrated or anxious you feel in the moment. When this happens, you open yourself up to emotional inconsistencies that can jeopardise your reputation for making level-headed decisions. It can lead to impulsive purchases, quitting projects or cancelling important plans.

Practical Tip

When tasked with making an important decision, ask yourself:

• Am I reacting emotionally right now
• Would I make the same decision when I’m calm
• Should I take time (even a few days) before responding?

 

4. You Take Feedback Personally

Do you have difficulty separating your identity from your performance? If so, noncomplimentary feedback can be painful. However, constructive criticism is crucial to making good decisions. While it’s natural to feel defensive when you feel attacked, if you regularly take feedback personally, it becomes a problem.

Practical Tip

When receiving feedback, pause and reframe before reacting emotionally. Instead of immediately defending yourself, take a moment to process the information as helpful rather than judgmental. You can try:

• Active listening
• Asking questions to understand
• Focus on facts, rather than assumptions
• View feedback as positive information for professional development (what can I learn from this?)

5. You Struggle to Stay Calm Under Pressure

Whether it’s deadlines, customer complaints, or workplace conflict, experiencing pressure is part of professional life. But when emotions run high, decision-making often takes a dive. That’s why managing your emotions at work is so important. If stress makes you short-tempered, inpatient, panicked, vague, avoidant or impulsive, stress-reducing exercise can help.

Practical Tip

When you feel overwhelmed or emotionally triggered, try:

• Pausing long enough to reduce emotional intensity
• Taking slow, controlled breaths
• Breaking the problem into smaller steps
• Giving yourself time before committing to a decision

 

6. You Blame Others for Your Emotional Reactions

When faced with a stressful situation, it’s easy to blame others for how we feel. But while other people’s behaviour can influence our emotions, we are ultimately responsible for our reactions. Managing your emotions at work means you are better able to choose how you respond. So, if you find yourself in situations where you become angry or defensive, it may feel justified in the moment, but usually the real issue is feelings of insecurity, stress, frustration or pressure.

Practical Tip

The next time you feel emotionally triggered at work, consider:

• What specifically upset me?
• Am I reacting to the situation or my interpretation of it?
• Is stress or pressure affecting my response?
• How can I respond professionally rather than emotionally?

When you learn to recognise emotional triggers, you can respond less emotionally, communicate more clearly and protect workplace relationships.

7. You Regularly Regret Impulsive Decisions

If you regularly make impulsive decisions that you later regret, it’s a clear sign your emotions are in control. Impulsive decisions are often a result of dealing with temporary emotions, such as anger, frustration, stress, fear, excitement and even disappointment. While these decisions can provide a temporary emotional reprieve, they can lead to long-term consequences. When you’re impulsive, you might notice the urge to:

• Send an angry message
• Quit a job suddenly
• Argue during conflict
• Make a rushed financial decision
• Cancel plans impulsively

Before making an important decision during an emotional moment, consider:

• Will you feel similarly tomorrow?
• Am I reacting emotionally?
• What are the long-term consequences of this decision?
• Would I give this advice if asked by a colleague?

Managing Your Emotions at Work

If you find yourself controlled by your emotions, the good news is you can learn emotion management – it’s a professional development skill. It’s one that will empower you to improve your communication skills, confidence, decision-making and workplace relationships.

Our Managing Your Emotions course is designed to help you confidently manage your emotions at work, communicate effectively and maintain control in a wide range of situations.

Can we help you explore online courses to find your new direction? Simply contact one of our friendly Course Consultants today on 300 76 2221, via Live Chat, or Online.