How to have difficult conversations at work

If having a difficult conversation at work fills you with dread, you’re not alone. Most of us will try to avoid these types of conversations like the plague, as they’re fraught with danger if not handled sensitively. While you won’t always say the right thing at the right time, the following tips will help you navigate the next difficult conversation at work. So read on to tackle this anxiety-inducing, yet necessary, part of most jobs successfully.

But, if you’re in a position where these interactions are common, our new professional development course, Lead Difficult Conversations, will turn you into a workplace “difficult conversation” ninja!

What is a Difficult Conversation?

Let’s start with a definition. How do you know if you’re facing a difficult conversation at work? The most obvious sign is that it’s a challenging conversation for you to have, largely due to the sensitive, emotional, or contentious nature of the topic you’re discussing. You’re also likely to deliver bad news, address performance issues, discuss behavioural problems, negotiate conflicts, or talk about personal issues that affect professional relationships. The difficulty arises because these conversations often provoke strong emotions, leading to disagreement or conflict, and there is a risk of harming relationships if not handled carefully.

Difficult conversations often have the following characteristics:

Emotionally Intense

When a difficult conversation occurs, the topics discussed are often emotionally charged, making it hard to remain calm and rational.

High Stakes

Difficult conversations are often high stakes, as the conversation’s outcome can have considerable consequences for the relationship between the people involved and the outcomes for their personal or professional lives.

Differing Perspectives

Differing perspectives should be expected during a difficult conversation, as the people involved most likely have different views, understandings, or interests regarding what’s being discussed. As a result, the conversation can quickly lead to disagreements or conflict.

Risk of Miscommunication

Difficult conversations are usually sensitive, increasing the risk of misunderstandings, misinterpretations, or offence, which can complicate the dialogue further. As such, effective handling of difficult conversations requires empathy, active listening, clear communication, and a willingness to find mutual understanding or compromise.

Dealing with Difficult Conversations at Work

Whether professionally or personally, leading a difficult conversation requires empathy, clarity, and preparation to be successful. The following are several tips to navigate these conversations effectively:

1. Prepare and Plan

When faced with a potentially difficult conversation, knowing what you want to achieve is important. If you understand your objectives, you can guide and keep the discussion focused. You should also anticipate the reactions of others in the conversation and plan how you can constructively address their emotions and concerns with empathy.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

They say timing’s everything, and it’s a saying that’s never more accurate than when you’re faced with a difficult conversation. Start by choosing a time when all parties are less likely to be stressed or distracted. Avoid times when emotions are high. You should also be considerate of privacy and choose a setting that ensures confidentiality, reducing the potential for embarrassment or defensiveness.

3. Engage with Empathy

It’s important to recognise the feelings of the others in the conversation and express your understanding. When you engage with empathy, you help lower defences and open the conversation. If you express your concerns, try to avoid sounding accusatory by using “I” statements, such as “I feel” or “I have noticed.”

4. Listen Actively

Let the other people in the conversation speak without interruption, as this shows that you value their perspective. You should use active listening skills by asking clarifying questions and paraphrasing their points to ensure you understand their position fully.

5. Maintain Respect and Calm

It’s challenging to remain calm during a difficult conversation, but keep your tone and body language neutral, even if the dialogue becomes heated. It’s okay to disagree, but maintain respect for the other person’s perspective.

6. Be Clear and Direct

You can ensure your communication is clear and direct by using specific examples to explain your concerns or the issue being discussed. Vagueness can lead to misunderstandings. You can avoid blame by focusing on the problem, not the person, as blaming can escalate emotions and derail a difficult conversation.

7. Seek a Mutual Understanding

Work together to find a solution or compromise that acknowledges everyone’s needs and concerns. Try to end the conversation with a clear agreement on what will happen next. This might include follow-up meetings or actions both parties will take.

Navigating difficult conversations is challenging, but it’s a skill that improves with practice and reflection. When you understand how to have a difficult conversation at work, you will have incorporated preparation, empathy, and a focus on positive outcomes.  As a result, you’ll encourage understanding in your conversations and resolve conflicts successfully.

Leading Difficult Conversations

If you regularly have difficult conversations at work, take a look at our Lead Difficult Conversations at Work online course. You’ll learn the tools and insights required to master handling challenging conversations successfully in your professional and personal life.

What You’ll Learn:

• Preparing and purpose for conversation
• Identify the core issue
• Confirm desired outcomes
• Consult with stakeholders
• Define goals of the conversation
• Conversation audience
• Context of conversation
• Identify and organise the required materials
• Agenda
• Background information
• Policies and procedures
• Legal documents
• Visual aids
• Action plan templates
• Time management tools
• Create an agenda
• Identify, gather and develop materials
• Adhere to organisational policies and procedures
• Selecting an appropriate location
• Choosing a suitable date and time
• Who should be involved
• Organising logistics
• Relevant personnel
• Stakeholder feedback
• Review conversational content
• Feedback and changes to content
• Key elements of conversation
• Communication style
• Delivery styles
• Conversation formats
• Verbal and non-verbal communication
• Written communication
• Communication styles
• Conviction
• Empathy
• Legislation and codes of conduct
• Adapting delivery style
• Adjusting your tone and language
• Stakeholder input for difficult conversations
• Summarise the conversation
• Confirm understanding
• Documenting conversations
• Records management
• Hard copy vs digital
• Facing challenges
• Support services
• Referral process
• Evaluate of effectiveness of the conversation
• Evaluate achievement of objectives
• Self-reflection
• Evaluate the effectiveness of the conversation
• Gathering feedback
• Plan for improvement

 

Can we help you? Contact one of our friendly Course Consultants today on Live Chat or 1300 76 2221 to learn more about this professional development course. We’d love to help you navigate your next difficult conversation successfully!